Hell No

I received a note from my daughter's bio-dad. The same person who has ignored me for months, enabled my daughter's behaviour and refused to co-parent so that we can get my daughter qualified and appropriate professional support. He is also the same person who has alienated, well, everyone. He also has never sought professional help for himself aside from a family doc who prescribes his antidepressants. He believes that the Myers Briggs is all that anyone needs to explain everything and that as an ENFP I need to understand that my daughter, as an INTJ, is just being who she is. Wha?

His note was asking me to take down this blog and also provided unsolicited advice and supposed wisdom.

Hell no. Like, HELL NO.

The audacity contained in this one person is quite astonishing.

The harm that this person has done to so many people, equally astonishing. His family, friends, and strangers he feels are doing something that he disagrees with, like a young grocery clerk not offering him a plastic bag at checkout, getting a long, silent stare meant to intimidate and frighten.

Who the hell does he think he is?

In my life? No one. In my daughter's life? A tragedy.

I've witnessed him yell, "Stop being such a fucking bitch!" to my daughter.

I've witnessed him tell her to "Shut up and stop interrupting" about a hundred times since she was tiny.

I've sheltered her from his unique brand of narcissism and control, coupled with disinterest and neglect. Hurried her along so that he wouldn't be furious that she wasn't ready to go when he was picking her up. Coached her about what might 'upset Dad'.

Yet he doesn't ever apologize, accept that his viewpoint may not be the only viewpoint and only cares about himself. He pretends to care about his daughter, but he only cares about control.

This is the person influencing everything re my daughter. The person who places zero importance on the mother role in one's life is the one guiding my daughter.

The mother role is the most critical relationship in one's life. It is worth one's most profound effort to strengthen, repair, honour and respect that relationship. She has the world's worst guide at this time in her life.

I pray that she walks out the door and seeks a guide who has a non-biased, deeply educated and holistic viewpoint of familial relationships. I pray, and I pray, and I pray.

And I SMH.