Giving Thanks

It’s Thanksgiving in the US. Although I am Canadian, I love an opportunity to make a list of a few things I am thankful for: I am writing this with the clock on. so I’m going to stop when I run out of time.

1. My son’s hugs. My goodness, this kid is the best. He is 17 and has truly honed his hugging skills. Sometimes the hugs are like an attack lovehug that comes out of nowhere, kinda scary but beyond wonderful to experience.

2. My weddings. Twice divorced means twice married. Each wedding day was filled with friends and family and laughing and dancing. I stumbled across the album from my first wedding and the photos made me laugh out loud at the moments that had faded from memory. The marriage ended and the people in the photographs have gone on to live their lives. Some are no longer close and some have passed on, The marriage itself was a dismal failure with two completely incompatible adolescents thinking that this was what marriage was supposed to be like based upon our own personal experiences….

But the party. The celebration of life in those photographs. The smiles, the fun. I am thankful for that day.

My second wedding was like a fairytale to me. I had a white knight who had swept into my world and was making all of my dreams come true. Champagne flowed, beautiful photographs were taken. My daughter sang a pretty song. My hair was perfect. That marriage also sadly ended, but I am so very thankful for that day and the years of beautiful days that followed.

3. Dogs. If you know, you know. If you don’t, I encourage you to visit your local shelter and fall in love. Not so sure about that? Check out Rocky Kanaka’s YouTube channel ‘Sitting With Dogs’. This channel is truly a labour of love for Rocky. The education he provides about dogs and their behaviours is so helpful to the shelter community and makes a big difference to many dogs who would otherwise spend much longer in shelter or perhaps never find a new home.

4. My friends. For a long time I wore my EAD’s terrible words like a shameful sentence I was meant to carry out for the rest of my life. Through love, kindness and the absolutely refusal to allow me to give up who I am, my friends have become a priority in my heart and my life.

5. Time and Space for reflection. It has been years since my life fell apart and many of those years are a sad, sad melange of darkness that I needed time and space in order to understand. I know that many estranged parents have full time jobs and busy busy lives and can’t afford to spend some days just being sad. I have had the luxury of taking time and space to heal. It still took a freaking long time, and I honestly didn’t think I ever would heal, but think I’m almost there.

6. Food. I eat when I’m not feeling peaceful. It is my coping mechanism, programmed into me by my beautiful mother who lived through wartime London. As the eldest of seven children whose father endured years in a Japanese prison, food was like gold. My mother overbought groceries when we were growing up and our fridge was always stuffed with gorgeous things to eat. She enjoyed showing her love with food (among other things). Food has been a friend when I shut people out. Food has been there for me when I’ve been unable to cope with my feelings. Food is how I often show my love for those around me. As I’ve leaned on food for comfort, the weight has crept on, but each pound was a layer of love I was surrounding myself with. I no longer need food to soothe my soul, preferring to do things that future me won’t suffer for. I do love, love cooking for my people, though. And dogs. I even get a whole bunch of kicks out of putting out nuts for the squirrels. Food rocks.

7. My talent. I’m a bloody brilliant photographer. I get to make pictures and art for people who leave me loving messages and notes about how I matter to them and their families. I’m so grateful for this layer of meaning in my life.

8. Mornings. The earlier I get up, the better the day. To me, early mornings are the purest form of living. Try it out. The quiet of the morning, perhaps a dog or two happily starting the day with you and a hot cup of coffee. Sometimes a quick dash out for a little bit of exercise (pilates classes that start while it’s not quite light outside are particularly wonderful with the stretching and waking up the old bones). It doesn’t get much better. Unless it’s…

9. Bedtime. By 9:00pm I’m ready for the comfort of my bed. I love crisp sheets, my sleep mask with earbuds, something to listen to on a thirty minute timer and an alarm set for early morning. It’s like the cherry on top of the day.

I will stop there as I’m out of time. I will continue this list in my mind today and perhaps share a part two another day.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my US friends. xoxo