‘Family isn’t forever’

This morning I was hanging out with my son. He's 14 and almost six feet tall. He shaves and says things like 'vibing'. Totally grown up and wants very little to do with me unless I'm holding out food or offering a hug. He still yells, 'Love you more!' when I drop him at school, though, so there's that. He's a brilliant, funny child who, along with his step-sister, fill this house with so much joy. Covid has been tough on him, but he always chooses the bright side.

So, when my son says, 'Family isn't forever,' to me that's a whiplash moment. I said, 'what do you mean? Your sister?' and he says, 'no, not Grace.' I said, 'Zoe,' and he nodded. Then he told me that he'd done some research and discovered she is his half-sister, not his step-sister. Um, yes, Nate. I knew that. *smile*. He seems to feel good about only being half-related. He doesn’t have the family discarding gene she got from her biological father.

I explain that family is forever. One person can't decide that a family doesn't exist. They can sling all the hate they want, but if we step back from it, it just falls to the ground. We can stay stepped back forever, but they are still family. If they needed us, we'd be there.

All of this to say, when our kids decide to walk away instead of committing to working through the problems, they are not just punishing us. They are punishing their siblings, step-siblings, future nieces, nephews, brothers-in-law, sisters-in-law...the list is a long as the years feel. Their future children are robbed of loving grandparents, of knowing where they come from. I suppose they figure they are protecting these future people and will be thanked later for keeping them safe from that tyrannical family member who didn't deserve to know them. I suspect they may be wrong here.